Predators in the Arena
A few days ago I was on Facebook and came across a link a few people had shared. The link was to a blog titled “Black Girls Are Easy,” which I think aims to give girls advice on dating and what makes them “wifey material.” The entire blog speaks of relationships through a patriarchal, sexist lens, insisting that women are responsible for the fate of their relationships. Apparently, if I man only wants to have sex with a woman with no intensions of a serious relationship or marriage, it’s due to a lack of female integrity and capability. Every argument in this blog is grounded on women-hate and lack of male responsibility, and it is alarming to see people share it because they agree with it, not out of rage and disapproval.
Here are two highlights and my two cents. (Quick side note: The following quotes are filled with grammatical errors and slurs. By no means is any of this my own words; I simply wanted to use direct quotes for a better discussion).
“Men love pussy, but we do not marry Pussy. A man may show Pussy off to his friends. He might buy Pussy gifts. Occasionally Pussy gets to come out of the house and get treated for dinner. Pussy even gets pregnant and becomes the Baby Mama. But he NEVER EVER marries Pussy. All men see women as Pussy initially, but after a few conversations we can decide if she’s more.”
Let’s redirect responsibility in this scenario. Bringing human life into this world is a male and female commitment. Here “slut-shaming” the “baby mama” is nothing but a sad excuse to avoid paternal responsibilities. They’re called condoms, and they are a great investment.
“There are more important things than who Chris Brown is fucking. If I wanted to date a woman with the life experience of a 17 year old I would have become a gym teacher or a stepfather. Stop being afraid to ask questions, reseal things you don’t understand, have a desire to be the best dressed at the part and the most interesting.”
Women are not the problem, the male socialization to appreciate sex and only sex and its normalization is the problem. Why have we set the standards for male self-respect so low? Men are not sexual animals who have brains with no capability of self-control, but we have normalized this notion to the point that most people miss and are unalarmed by rapists statements like “if I wanted to date a woman with the life experience of a 17 year old I would have become a gym teach or a stepfather.” This kind of statement turns women into mere vaginas, nothing else; and if that isn’t bad enough, it portrays and accepts men as sexual predators who see no boundaries to what vaginas they demand access to, not even age.
It’s called rape culture ladies & gentlemen, and agreeing to this way of thinking perpetuates the problem.